Baby growing and new jobs...

While I know everyone mainly cares about the status of the sprog in my belleh, I am going to talk about my new job first! HA! I had mentioned in my last post about applying for the position of CPS investigator...well guess what!! I GOT IT! I am very excited as this will give us an opportunity to save up for the baby and move into a house with insulation! I will begin orientation for the state on Feb. 1 and my 12 week training course begins on Feb 22. The only sucky thing is that training is in Houston, but thankfully north Houston. I am finally getting to use that fancy degree I worked my bum off for!

Now on to more important things: the sprog. My first doctor's appointment went well. It was more of an initial consultation including blood work and going over paperwork. I really like the nursing staff!! I have two more appointments this week: one with the Dr. on Wed and the ultrasound on Friday. These exams will entail the fun stuff like pelvic exams and medical history. Friday will be exciting because we should be able to find out the sex of the baby...which brings me to my next topic:

Gender...
I keep getting asked what gender I prefer. I would be a liar if I said I had no preference. I think that deep down most women want a girl mainly because we are girls and we kinda understand the mechanics and the ins and outs of girlhood. That being said, I am hoping for a little girl.

I have also been asked if I will be disappointed if the baby is not a girl...and to that I respond: HELL NO! We are so blessed to be having this child. I just want a healthy, happy baby that will occasionally drive me nuts and that we'll love more than anything in this world. Me and Shawn do have a bet going though..his side is more boy dominated and mine is more girl dominated...and yes there are twins on both sides, but we don't talk about that!

As for names...We have chosen them...if you love them, Great! If not, well...as nicely as I can say it, get over it because this is our child and not yours. You may ask why I am a bit bitchy on this...simply because, as my friend Andrea put it, it's not your choice. I appreciate the concern and when you have a child you may name it whatever floats your boat, but these are the names we like and since we'll be the one's screaming it, crying it and saying it with love and adoration...we win!

Girl: Anna Li-The meaning behind this is two fold. My mom's middle name was Ann. She passed away in 1998 and I wanted to honor her memory by naming my daughter after her. Her first name was Edith and while I love the name, I wouldn't do that to my kid. Li has a special meaning for me and Shawn..'nuff said.

Boy: James Alexander-James is my father's middle name and a name that me and Shawn both love. We mutually chose Alexander.

It is finally starting to hit me that I am going to be someones mother...and that scares the living shit out of me. I know I am having the normal fears: what if I screw them up, what if I can't take care of them, OMB this is forever...etc.. I know that I will be a good mother and Shawn is going to be the best Papa in the whole world. I try to calm my fears by reminding myself that already this child has so much love and support between family members and friends. I also know that this is perfectly normal and I am just experiencing what everyone else who has gone through this did. My parents did screw up too bad and neither will we!

That is all for now...

Christmas, Medicaid and the whole crazy thing...

Christmas this year was amazing! I really enjoyed Shawn and I's first Christmas together as a married couple. It was so much fun picking things out for each other an setting up the tree. I once again made the observation that you know you are grown when all you want for Christmas are kitchen appliances!! This year was also the year of the robe...I had asked Shawn for a robe and I got one...then I got one at my grandparents and a small summer robe from my Aunt for after the baby is born. Lesson: if you ask..chances are you will receive. We were in Waco for Christmas with my family which was awesome! I was very pleased by the thoughtfulness behind our gifts from the family which to name a few included:

1. Dutch ovens (yes, now we have 3!!! WHOO HOO)
2. Baby items such as onesies, rattles and etc.
3. Knife set
4. Handmade stockings and wooden items.
   

I then spent a week in Waco with my grandparents. I had a great time, but was glad to come home. I missed my hubby!!!! While I was in Waco, I found out from my sweet husband that I was approved for medicaid...FINALLY!!

I am about 4 months pregnant...and my first doctor's appointment is Friday January, 15th at 10 a.m. I am so excited! So far all is going well. Me and the bathroom are becoming fast pals...I envy when I used to could sleep through the night without going! I have my first maternity jeans all hemmed and ready to wear! I was so excited because I was fed up with wearing the same 2 pairs of sleep pants! I am still lucky in that I have had little to no morning sickness, however I will not brag on that for the fear of getting attacked! I am growing nicely and all is good. I haven't had any real crazy cravings.

On the job front, I had a good interview with CPS for an investigator position. I am also applying for several more positions with CPS in the hopes that one will come through! I feel that the job would be rewarding and to be completely honest the money would be nice! I am hoping to hear something in the next few weeks. I realize it takes time due to the extensive background checks.

Anyway, that is a brief update on me, the baby and what is going on in my part of the world!

8 weeks and counting!

Calculations seem to show that I am about 8 weeks pregnant. So far I have been feeling pretty good. I don't have a lot of energy and am hungry quite a bit. I have also had a lot of trouble sleeping. I seem to be lucky in that while I have been a bit nauseous, I have not thrown up. As of yet, the only physical signs have been tenderness and a bit of tightness in my jeans! I have also been more emotional (poor Shawn!!) and craving some weird things:

• Pizza and Hot Wings, but only from Pizza hut
• Queen Anne's Chocolate Covered Cherries (which I usually don't even like...too sweet!)
• Sour Pickles
• Cheese Toast
• Daddy's Dressing (only 2 weeks until I get that one!!)

Shawn has really been a trooper...he has rubbed my back, pet me while I cried for no apparent reason and kept me calm! We are both very excited!! :)

Babies and Craziness

Well, it's been awhile since I have posted. Married life is amazing. I couldn't ask for anything better...yet...:) I found out about a week ago that I am pregnant! It is such an amazing and odd feeling. I am exhausted all the time and queasy, but the thought that a little person growing inside of me is really cool. :) Me and Shawn are both very excited and happy.

Gotta love the influence of music!

I love when I hear a song that I have listened to many times, and then I finally hear it. Lately I have had some self pitying crap going on. Poor me, I'm unemployed, we're broke, wah wah wah. I know that some self pity is normal and perfectly healthy, but still. This morning I was listening to G.A.C. (country music station) on tv and I heard the song "Sounds like life to me" by Darryl Worley. I finally listened to the words and he is completely right!

I said I know this ain’t what you wanna hear
But it’s what I’m gonna say

Sounds like life to me it ain’t no fantasy
It’s just a common case of everyday reality
Man I know it’s tough but you gotta suck it up
To hear you talk you’re caught up in some tragedy
It sounds like life to me

We never want to hear deal with it, or well that's just the way life is, but it is! Life is not fair, it's not easy and we just have to make the best of what we've got! We are going to have obstacles, we are going to want to bang our head into the wall. The car is going to break down, the house is going to need repair, the bank account is never going to have enough, there is always going to be another bill that needs paying. Jobs are going to be lost, and children are going to get sick. I am hoping to be able to focus on much more than the so called tragedy. Our mountains are really tiny hills we just have to get over.

I am hoping that in the future, I will learn to focus on all the wonderful things in my life. I have an amazing husband who loves me unconditionally and takes care of me. I have a nice home that protects me. I have two cats that entertain me for sure!! I have a great family who have always been there for me. I have several good friends I can rely on. I always seem to have enough, even if its only pennies away from nada in the account. I have food in my kitchen. I am really blessed.

He's the cheese to the my wine....

What can I say about this weekend other than it was fantastic in more ways than I could ever have expected. It all really started on Thursday. I drove into Waco to pick up my grandmother so that she could come back with me on Friday and help me get ready/spend time with me. We got back to Huntsville on Friday and it rained! I was a bit panicky because the wedding was going to be outdoors so I started thinking "HOLY CRAP WHAT IF IT RAINS!!??" Me and my grandmother went to go see Julie & Julia. It was an amazing movie! I loved watching her cook and try to learn new things while instilling confidence in herself. I also learned a lot about Julia Childs and what an amazing outlook she had.

Saturday morning brought a rush of activity! My dad dropped by early in the morning to see how things were progressing. My friend KC really saved the day by bringing donuts and helping me coordinate everyone. After much hustle and bustle, my hair was finally unrolled and glued in place, Spackle/makeup was applied and the dress finally got put on. We were all having a bunch of fun getting ready. I was so happy to have KC and Lee-Ann plus all my other relatives here to share that special time with me. After much fuss we got me dressed and ready to go meet my groom. KC once again saved the day and let me ride with her. I waited in the car until my dad came to get me, Pa was waiting a bit further down the way. Dad almost made me cry when he told me that he had only seen one other bride that was more beautiful than I was (my mom). I didn't trip and fall, but I never will forget the look in Shawn's eyes when he saw me for the first time. At that moment, I felt as if I was the most beautiful woman in the world. The ceremony went well, although my grandmother forgot Shawn's ring in her purse! Oh well, it'll be a funny story to tell later to the kids! We just pretended that I placed the ring on his hand and after a few more words, I became Mrs. Shawn Parsons! I can honestly say it was the best day of my life to date.

After the ceremony, we went to Golden Coral. It was really nice. Shawn's aunt did an excellent job with the cake. I couldn't believe how gorgeous it turned out! We had a great time visiting with everyone. That night we went and ate with my dad at The Junction. It was really good and surprisingly reasonably priced. After dinner, we met up with our friends at the Stardust Room. I think we all had a good time.

We are going to Jefferson for our honeymoon on Sept 18th. I am very excited! :) I can't wait to start our lives together.

Love and Marriage...

Last night it really hit me...this time next week I'll be a married woman. In today's society, it seems as if marriage is nothing. As if it holds no value, can be easily dissolved and flitted around. In my opinion, marriage is so much more than just a piece of legal paperwork. Marriage in my eyes is about love, commitment, honor, and friendship. I believe that when someone gets married it should be to someone that they love so much that their heart feels incomplete when that person is not near them. Marriage is a commitment one to another for life, not just for the year or seven. You are pledging to stay with that person in life, sickness, health, when things are amazing and when life really sucks. Marriage is based on honoring the one you are with by faithfulness and commitment. However, I believe that this is all impossible unless the person you are with is your best friend. Friendship is so very important with a marriage in my opinion. There are going to be times when you don't like your spouse, and your spouse doesn't like you much either. There are going to be days when you question why you ever married that person, but at the end of the day one must realize that without that other half, there is no happiness.

I know that me and Shawn will have our differences, difficulties and arguments. I know that there are going to be times that I am going to want to run and hide, cry, and pound my fists in frustration. However, I also know that he is the man I love. He is intelligent, compassionate and loyal to the core. He will never leave me or make me feel inferior. Shawn is the other half of my heart and I cannot wait for our life together!