Ramblings on a Wed. Morning

I woke up this morning, extremely groggy and wishing that the alarm clock was wrong! Yesterday was a very interesting day and has left me with a lot to think about. My grandfather called and informed me that he thinks if I'm going to go ahead and get married to Shawn anyway, I might as well do it now. He tells me just go get a license and have a small private ceremony without spending a lot of money. He then tells me that he will give me a sum of money to help me get a household together. I am honored that he loves Shawn and wants us to be married, but that isn't exactly the way I wanted this whole thing to go! I had thought about going to the JP for now just to have the official ceremony taken care of, and then continue with our wedding in April as planned. I feel that with Pa's health being the way it is, at least the JP would ensure that he could be there for my official wedding ceremony, even if God takes him before April. Shawn agreed with the idea and we decided to discuss logistics later on last night.

Well...this is all well and good and I was pondering the best way to pull this off when I get another phone call. This time it's my grandmother. She tells me that she is furious with my grandfather for even suggesting a JP wedding. She then goes into how that's how they had to get married and she always regretted that she didn't have a full wedding with a white dress. I appreciated her concern. I tried to tell her that even if we did the JP wedding, we were still going to have an actual ceremony in April as planned. She then tells me she has set aside an amount of money for the ceremony and that if I can plan it on that, then they will pay for it. Again...I was in shock and had a lot to think about. I informed Shawn of both developments and we are trying to figure out a solution. Frankly, I just want to marry Shawn...I really don't care about the logistics that much.

On an employment note, I am confused about how I feel at the moment. I am about to end a job that I have had for a year and a half. Leaving here makes me really sad because I have come to love and admire many of my co-workers. It seems so bizarre to me that after Friday the 14th, I will no longer see them on a daily basis. I am also apprehensive because I do not currently have another job lined up. I have been applying like crazy, but it seems as if I am either too qualified because I have a degree or not qualified enough because I just graduated from college. I interviewed last week for a case management position with a foster care agency. It went exceptionally well and I have a second interview, although I don't know when. I love case management work. It is a perfect combination of paperwork and human interaction for me. I also love that the direct work with the client gives me an opportunity to actually make a difference and touch a life instead of just being behind the scenes. I am praying and hoping that this job comes through. It seems as if it would be such a good fit for me.

On the friendship front, or the lack thereof, I learned about a week ago that a dear friend is moving to Colorado. I have been seeking a few good or at least one good female friend. While I have my best friend from childhood in Arlington, it just isn't the same as having someone here in town that I can call on a whim for coffee or just to chat. Heather has been so busy in Arlington with work and school and relationship stuff that I haven't had an opportunity to talk to her just one on one in so long. I really miss having a close friend to confide in (other than Shawn of course!). I finally found a friend and now she is being whisked away to Colorado. I know that it is a good decision for her and that the move would be excellent for not only her, but for her ministry. I'm just gonna miss her! I know that the friendship is not over, it's just evolving like any other relationship does over time.

All in all, I am excited, scared, apprehensive, sad and wishing for a break! I know that there are others who have it a lot worse than I do...and that it will all work out in the end just how it needs to be.